Unmet expectations are the root of most of our discouragement, anger, sadness and frustration each day. Upset about a test score? Your reaction is based on your expectation that you would earn a higher grade. Frustrated that your car broke down? Your reaction is based on your expectation that your car will work properly. Having conflict with someone? Your reaction is based on your expectation that the person would behave a specific way and they didn't? Dirty dishes left in the sink! More snow than the forecast predicted! A sickness lasting more than a day! Improvement not happening immediately! Expectations are random perceptions on how we deem life should be and are based on less facts than we think and involve countless more variables than we ever consider. Expectations are assurances in future events. There are too many variables that are not in our control for us to expect much in life and to have assurances. Goals are different than expectations. There are no assurances in goals. Goals give us direction. We hope to reach our goals but the understanding is that goals are meant to motivate us and guide us and reaching the goal is a consequence of the previous two priorities. Expectations unmet typically lead to nothing but disappointment so we should set goals and not expectations.
Warning: many of you have been told throughout your lives to "have high expectations" and "expect more from yourself". Feel free to go with that philosophy if it works for you. However, my experience has shown that less the .0001% of the world's population performs well under pressure and/or responds to failure in an appropriate manner. Most people respond negatively to unmet expectations because they don't properly evaluate the variables that resulted in the expectation to be unmet and then they don't respond appropriately to the erroneous information they now have in their possession. This causes high expectations to be demotivating instead of being motivating, as they were initially intended by the wise person who told you to have "high expectations". Having high expectations requires an exorbitant amount of self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence, along with an abundance of mental toughness and resilience and the fact is that most people don't have those tools in their toolbox. So it is better to know yourself and set yourself up for success by setting goals and not expectations).
Warning: many of you have been told throughout your lives to "have high expectations" and "expect more from yourself". Feel free to go with that philosophy if it works for you. However, my experience has shown that less the .0001% of the world's population performs well under pressure and/or responds to failure in an appropriate manner. Most people respond negatively to unmet expectations because they don't properly evaluate the variables that resulted in the expectation to be unmet and then they don't respond appropriately to the erroneous information they now have in their possession. This causes high expectations to be demotivating instead of being motivating, as they were initially intended by the wise person who told you to have "high expectations". Having high expectations requires an exorbitant amount of self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence, along with an abundance of mental toughness and resilience and the fact is that most people don't have those tools in their toolbox. So it is better to know yourself and set yourself up for success by setting goals and not expectations).
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