There are a lot of great reasons to help others. Unfortunately, helping others is often seen as in opposition to helping ourselves. "If I help others, then I am taking away from my own prosperity. I need to focus on "me" so I can maximize my efforts". And when it comes to a choice, we usually choose "me" over "we" and definitely over "you". Obviously, having the mentality and the heart to put others first is a desirable characteristic. However, if that is too much to ask, then look at the research. Motivation is one of the keys to personal success. When we are more motivated, we are more likely to repeat desirable behaviors (like working hard, putting in time and effort, giving our best). Research shows that the greatest untapped source of motivation is a sense of service to others; focusing on the contribution of our work to other people’s lives has the potential to make us more productive than thinking about helping ourselves (Give and Take by Adam Grant). It makes sense. Most people struggle with confidence, doubt, fear, anxiety and depression because they are focusing too much on themselves and not looking more at others. The more we are "inward focused", the more we get caught up in our failures and weaknesses and have a hard time seeing our strengths. In contrast, when we help others, we see that life is more than our own selfish desires and that life is more than just about us. So when you find yourself falling short of your own goals and hopes and dreams, then take your eyes off yourself and spend some time to help others so that they can reach their goals and hopes and dreams, and you may find that you both end up winning in the end.
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We can't stop the rain! No matter how hard we may try, no matter how hard we may look at the sky, no matter how angry or bitter or frustrated we may get, we can't stop the rain! We can look at forecasts and refresh every five minutes but the rain will either come or not, regardless of our attention to it. There are things in life that we have control over and there are things we don't. We can't stop the rain but we can wear a rain jacket. We can hold an umbrella. We can wear rain boots and two pairs of socks. We can avoid going outside or even close the blinds. We can also see the rain as a necessity to water the grass that makes it green or fill the aquifers so we have water to drink. We may not be able to change the weather forecast but we can change our attitude. We need to understand what areas of life we can control (our attitude is a primary one) and control those things. We then need to identify the things that we have no control over (like the weather and other circumstances around us) and choose to pray about it to someone who has control. "Control what you can control, Pray about the rest." Toby Schwarz
If you don't see yourself as a winner before you compete, then winning becomes more about luck than about your own effort. No one wants to win because of luck. We want to win based on the time and effort and ability that we exhibit. “You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.” Zig Ziglar
We all see ourselves in a certain way. I refer to this as the "aspirational you". It is the person that is confident or tough or confrontational or driven or motivated or caring or loving or giving. Then someone comes along and points out who they think we are. Ouch! There is a gap between who we actually are and who we want/aspire to be. That gap exists because of our inactions. We may think we are someone but our actions or lack of actions demonstrate who we are. “The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.” Bill Phillips
I had a chocolate Easter egg yesterday. Full disclosure, I had several. Although the egg shaped chocolates ended up on my office desk at home, they didn't magically appear. Chocolate as we currently know it came into existence over 200 years ago and there are several cultures and people involved in that long and failure filled process. For that chocolate to be formed in a factory somewhere, after a mold was created, and then wrapped in thin foil, with a pattern on it, and then assembled in a colorful, artful package with other similar eggs and then placed in a warehouse and then a truck and find it's way on a store shelf where it was purchased by my wife and placed on my desk by my daughters. That chocolate egg had quite a journey. It started a long time ago and very far away. Thankfully, not everyone slept in that day. “Do something today that your future self will thank you for.” Sean Patrick Flanery
Showing up, in a physical sense, is important. If you are not present, it is impossible to participate. However, simply breathing doesn't mean you are ready to go. Showing up mentally, prepared to complete the task at hand is essential for success. “One thing’s for sure, if you don’t play, you don’t win.” Kylie Francis
Winning is a result of doing the right things. When winning is the most important thing, then we miss out on a wide array of more meaningful things. Failure can be more valuable in our lives than winning. When winning is all that matters, then winning is all that matters and winning doesn't happen much thus we don't matter much. “Competing at the highest level is not about winning. It’s about preparation, courage, understanding, nurturing your people, and heart. Winning is the result.” Joe Torre
Resilience is a skill that must be learned by trying and failing and learning and trying again. “Losers quit when they fail. Winners fail until they succeed.” Robert T. Kiyosaki
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AuthorCOACH. FATHER. HUSBAND. SON OF THE KING. WHITWORTH UNIVERSITY. Archives
September 2024
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