We have a lot of voices that speak to us, whether it is family or friends, roommates or classmates, coworkers or teammates, strangers, the media and a whole host of people that we allow to influence s through are "feeds". Each one has an impact on our attitude, emotions mood and feelings and actions. The biggest, loudest and most constant voice in our head is our own voice. Unfortunately, for many, that internal voice is unkind, inaccurate and incorrect. There are billions of people on the planet so we can be very selected of who we allow to influence us. If they are bad, get rid of them and make new friends. However, we can't get rid of ourselves but we can get rid of our thoughts and choose how we talk to ourselves. “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” – Brené Brown.
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Everyone gets anxious. Being anxious doesn’t mean that you are a bad person or wrong. Some people have “trait” anxiety which means that they have a condition or temperament that makes them more susceptible to anxiety in situations that they normally shouldn’t be anxious. Everyone, however, has “state” anxiety which refers to anxiety based on the situation we are in, such as an exam, competition, big event, uncomfortable impending conversation, the future, etc. Regardless, anxiety is described as a “perceived threat”. It is an emotion. It is our perception of something negative possibly happening. We have free will and choice. We are not characters in a video game being manipulated by the “player”. We are in control. We can push “the buttons” and determine our response to our own anxiety. Being anxious is not wrong. However, choosing to stay anxious or allowing the anxiety to negatively impact our choices and actions is on us . “A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.” Aesop
When I was a very young coach, I had the opportunity to be around a very old coach who was recently inducted into the State Coaches Hall of Fame. He mentioned that he had just come from a clinic where another coach, who I didn't think much of, was speaking. When I asked "what did you learn from him", he replied as if he had said this one-thousand times before, "I learned a ton. I learned a couple things I had never thought of. And I learned a some things that I will never do. We can all learn from anyone if we are willing to listen with an open mind. You can learn something from the least successful person in the world if you pay attention and don't think you know it all already". “Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.” —Augustine Og Mandino
If you don't get much done today, it is because YOU CHOSE not to get much done today. You may not get what YOU WANT to get done today, but that doesn't mean you didn't accomplish a lot when you choose to do a lot. “You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.” George Lorimer
If you are having a good and easy day today, please enjoy it as it is a blessing and probably well deserved. But pray that tomorrow is more challenging and difficult or you will have two days in a row of no growth or improvement toward your goals. “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” Frederick Douglass
Most people live with the mindset of "scarcity", meaning that there is a belief that resources are limited or finite. If there is a pie, these individuals want "their share" of the pie or as much of the pie as possible and they live with an abundance of jealousy because others may have more pie than them. THERE IS MORE THAN ONE PIE IN THE WORLD. Go make your own dang pie. “People who wonder if the glass is half empty or full miss the point. The glass is refillable.” Simon Sinek
There is a huge difference between "Playing to Win" and "Playing not to lose". One requires a positive and optimistic mindset that believes that winning is possible. The other requires nothing but a hope that failure doesn't happen. Traveling through life fearing failure and doing all that you can to avoid it will never provide the countless opportunities to succeed as much as you possibly can. “Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” Neil Gaiman
It is interesting how we seek things to be "normal", yet we have an unrealistic concept of "normal". Life is unfair ... that is normal. Life is painful ... that is normal. Life is unpredictable and always changing .. that is normal. Instead of spending so much dang time trying to be "normal", we should spend that time learning how to adapt to the complexity of life. “There is no normal life that is free of pain. It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.” Fred Rogers
The most attractive option initially may not be the best option eventually. "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.” Og Mandino
You can look at life in two ways. Either only exceptional people do exceptional things OR ... YOU can be exceptional by doing exceptional things. “There are no great people in this world, only great challenges which ordinary people rise to meet.” William Frederick Halsey Jr.
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AuthorCOACH. FATHER. HUSBAND. SON OF THE KING. WHITWORTH UNIVERSITY. Archives
November 2023
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