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COACH Toby Schwarz
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COPING

9/3/2016

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We all go through situations in our lives where we are required to cope.  These events may be few and fair between or they may be too frequent than we would prefer.  The specifics may be relatively small or very grand in nature.  Regardless of the scope or frequency, when we experience loss or some kind of difficulty, coping is required.  Ignoring is not coping.  Running away and avoidance is not coping.  There are several other "coping mechanisms" which in reality, are not actually coping (ie - drugs, alcohol, or other diversions that are not healthy).  Coping requires four steps and can be remembered with this acronym.  Controlling Emotions, Organizing thoughts and feelings, Planning a response and the Executing (COPE).  The first three steps are difficult, especially when we are sick, tired or overwhelmed.  Even on our best day, controlling emotions is not easy.  However, all four steps and in order are critical in the success to coping with difficult situations.  Unfortunately, many of us may start the process but stop before the final step.  If this happens, we "COP" out.  We quit.  We don't complete the process because we don't execute the plan and begin moving forward.  As we encounter loss, whether it be a broken relationship, death, injury, identity, confidence or even our car keys or wallet, we must deal with that loss through coping and be resilient enough to carrying through the entire process.
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