"To make Common". This is the origin of the word communication. When we communicate, the true purpose of our words and actions should be to make something common. The "something" can be an idea, a thought, a vision, a goal or a feeling. Therefore, when we have a disagreement with someone, the purpose should be to "make common" how we feel or what we are thinking. This does not mean that we are trying to convince the other person to feel or think the way we do but to help them understand why we feel the way we do or to help them see the meaning behind our thoughts. Unfortunately, most people define Communication as "To make others see that I am right". Too often we enter communication as if it is a contest to prove that we are smarter or "more right" than the other person. This is why most communication is "miscommunication" and ends badly. If we entered every conversation with the attitude that we are attempting to help the other person understand where we are coming from while at the same time, being fully open to what they are saying about how they think and feel, there would be less miscommunication and more communion among each other.
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If someone tells you to "work hard and you will accomplish anything you want", then they are probably a well meaning person but they are also misleading you. Success can not be guaranteed. There are too many variables in life to insure a specific outcome. The notion that "working hard will lead to success" is an expectation that often leads people to quit or abandon their goals when that expectation is not quickly met. However, the probability of success is increased by the amount of time and effort that you put in to the process toward a goal. Being intentional, having a plan, showing resilience, and adjusting your attitude in the face of adversity are just a few behaviors that will help increase the probability that you will reach your goals and have success. You can not guarantee success by your actions but you can greatly increase the probability of success by taking responsibility in your own hands.
"A strong belief or guarantee that something will happen." In athletics, there are no guarantees. Too many variables exist for guarantees to exist. To expect a specific result from a competition is only setting yourself up for disappointment and is a source of undue stress and pressure. The only expectations that one should ever have are behaviors that they have complete control over. Expectations to be committed, to work hard, to sacrifice, and to give the best effort possible are realistic expectations. Expecting to run a specific time or finish in a specific place are completely random results and are out of your control due to the other individuals in the competition or the conditions of the game Unrealistic expectations lead to most of the sadness and disappointment that we experience in life. We expect to live to a certain age or feel a certain way or to have specific events occur at desired times in our timeline. When those expectations that are based on random thoughts and feelings don't unfold as we desire, we react negatively. That negativity can be avoided by setting goals instead of expectations. Goals give us a direction to focus our energy and behavior. Achieving the goal is less important than striving to achieve the goal so when the goal is either met or not, it doesn't alter the benefit of striving for that goal. Set goals not expectations.
“Underestimating the Long Term, and overestimating the Short Term.” Those who live under the umbrella of entitlement fail to see the benefit of hard work. They may work hard but they are quick to stop working hard if the result is not immediate. Most people, especially American youth who have been brought up in a culture of “entitlement”, are conditioned to receive immediate results and if those results aren’t positive, then giving up is a viable option. Our grandparent’s generation was conditioned to work hard for weeks and months and years with no sign of any reward. They worked hard with the “hope” that something good “may” come someday. That culture created a work ethic that resulted in Space Travel and the personal computer. Entitlement is unfortunate a condition brought about by our environment. Parents want their kids to have it easier than they had it so they make life easier. They do the work so the child doesn’t have to. They drive the kid to practice instead of telling them to ride their bike. They do this out of love but this love leads the child to expect rides everywhere. Entitlement has allowed certain industries and businesses to thrive (Apps for our I-phones (mostly games), Starbucks, and anything else that allows us to have it and have it now and have it anywhere. It is more natural to feel entitled than to be persistent. It isn’t our fault. We have been conditioned this way. However, we will only reach our full potential when we persevere. Entitlement leads to giving up. Persistence leads to growth (James 1:2-4). In order to reverse the trend of feeling more and more entitled, we must be intentional about working hard over a long period of time without any certainty of success. Being a successful athlete is a great way to reverse the condition of entitlement.
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AuthorCOACH. FATHER. HUSBAND. SON OF THE KING. WHITWORTH UNIVERSITY. Archives
November 2023
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